There's no place like HOME...

You have to be buzzed in, but once you enter the inner sanctum, you realize that you have entered a special place. I go there often; although it was difficult at first. Facing old age can be challenging at best. Health issues, insurmountable financial bills, lost spouses, friends and love ones; these are the very real challenges that our generation's parents face today. So when my mother-in-law took up residence at an appropriate Assisted Living Center that specializes in Alzheimer's disease, it seemed a difficult chore to visit her. I must admit that it wasn't my favorite thing to do. Facing one's own mortality is never easy. But I did it because I loved her. Little did I know that this place would turn into one of my favorite places to visit.

Admittedly, I expected the worse; even though her sons had looked for the best that her long saved, hard earned money, could afford. I was greatly relieved to see that she had her own room. A spacious, private room that could accommodate her very own bed, her favorite chair, a TV, plenty of closet space, access to home cooked meals, desired company with folks her own age and medical care if needed. It wasn't anything like the word Nursing Home had implied in my mind. I had been to many a Nursing Home in my work in the Social Services Agencies; and so, I had seen the places people are placed to spend their last years. I had witnessed the overcrowded facilities, the illnesses, the lack of caring staff and, yes, I'd even smelled the stench. "Believe me!" This homelike facility was the furthest thing from those horrendous places! I thought that she would love it. The place looked almost "resort like" to me. Close by to her family, picturesque window views,three hearty meals served with cloth napkins in the beautifully decorated dining room, snacks, activities, age appropriate music playing in the sitting rooms, even bus trips on occasion. I just couldn't understand why my mother-in-law was so unhappy. She hated the place with a passion! Perhaps it wouldn't have mattered where she "lived". At times, she will even speak French and no one understands her. This is extremely irritating to her because she may want something very badly and not be able to convey her needs.

Although she wants to be "home", my mother-in-law seems to be oblivious to the fact that the place she lives in is as close to "home" as she will ever be again. Once you enter the facility, you realize that the staff that you see bustling around are well versed in elder care. From director to aide; the people that are employed here have busy hands and kind hearts. When I first began visiting, I noticed a cheerfulness that permeated the hallways. Each aide had his/her "people" to tend to.
Their whole purpose was to see to it that these individuals were dressed, fed, kept warm, physically clean and reasonably happy. Not a task to be taken lightly because, as I soon discovered, Alzheimer's Disease is totally different than just dementia.
I realize that when people age, they lose control of certain bodily functions. What I didn't know, is that they may also lose their ability to remember how to do simple tasks. Feeding oneself, communicating, toileting, and even recognizing loved ones are can be challeging. It takes patience & persistence as the staff answer the same questions repetitively. It is even more challenging when the older residents are living in a foreign world of their own.

Each day could be the same, if not for the staff who give their all to make life at the "home" pleasurable for the residents. Many a day, I have walked in there to hear "Here, Mr. B, let's put on dry clothes and then you'll feel much better." Or, seen the younger aides dancing with several of the residents to a song from the 40's.
From the cleaning personnel who keep the place shining and the smell sweet, to the aides who feed mouths that have forgotten how to chew or how to use eating utensils as tools to alliviate hunger. These people are serving with willing hearts of compassion. It is indeed humbling to see these Angels of Mercy who are paid minimum wage, do their work with diligence and dependability. It is reassuring to know as one ages that someone just like them will care how you are cared for.